Satire alert

Birmingham sells out of bacon and beer as Sharia law is declared

http://undergroundmgzn.com/2015/01/12/birmingham-sells-bacon-beer-sharia-law-declared/

The inhabitants of Britain’s second largest city were today in a state of panic as news spread that an Islamic caliphate had been declared. Shops were overrun by frantic people looking to buy the last alcohol, bacon and other non-halal products before they were banned forever.

“This city seemed fine before Fox News pointed out how all the Muslims had taken over,” said Amy Brennan. “Did you hear they have Sharia courts set up already? I just hope scotch eggs aren’t haram. I bloody love them.”

Local community leaders, who overnight revealed themselves to be the ruling Ayatollahs of the city, have already issued 46 fatwas this morning making Birmingham one of the strictest Islamic states in this part of the world.

“We should have listened to Nigel!” wailed the desperate population as sharia patrols sprang up and started arresting people for wearing inappropriate clothing.

Labour were quick to point out this morning that though they had set the wheels in motion for Birmingham and it’s environs to be incorporated into an Islamic caliphate, the fault for not doing something about it lays entirely with the coalition.

Some people were trying to more philosophical about the ongoing theocratic imposition. “I’ve never really been a fan of directly elected government so it makes no real difference to me,” said Neil MacKay. “Also, this should make doing dry January a hell of a lot easier. Allan be praised indeed!”